Fun things!

For posterity, proof I am capable of having fun and my life is actually pretty freaking awesome. I spend a lot of time living in my head, worrying and thinking about things I can't control or making up scenarios which have a .009% chance of happening. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a deviation or two above the norm on the intensity spectrum. Thank God my family, especially my husband, is really patient with me. "I know it's 6 a.m. on a Saturday, the baby is smearing a banana on the comforter, and we haven't had coffee yet, but can we talk about what's happening in Syria?"( I wake up with a lot of thoughts and ideas, and by the end of the night I'm nonverbal, scrolling through pictures of food on instagram. My intensity does have a limit.)

Life is really good! Fall is my favorite time of the year. I missed out on all the fun stuff last year because I was busy trying to keep myself and a newborn alive. This time, we've had a lot of fun and it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

 

Mille's first Grandparents' Day at daycare! Obviously she didn't know it was going to happen, but she was pretty psyched to see her Lola and Lolo alongside her favorite teacher, Miss Fatima.

I think my mom was more excited than anybody about Grandparents' Day. She'll be the one in the front row of all the piano recitals, school performances, spelling bees, and pretty much anything else. Mom is the archiver. Archivist? I'll let her handle all the media and I can just watch and know it will be recorded. Plus she has better cameras than me, and a selfie stick.

We are very grateful for Miss Fatima. She even told us Millie is her favorite. I'm so happy Millie has bonded with one of her caretakers. Apparently she sometimes pushes other kids if they get too close  to Miss Fatima. This is obviously inappropriate, but it does make me feel better knowing she will be grabbed first in case of a fire (one of my paranoid scenarios). We will work on the pushing thing, as being a school counselor with a bully daughter is not acceptable.

The Keeping It Real Christmas Photo Shoot 2015. Even with her grandmother as a photographer, Millie wouldn't cooperate. It might be a photoshopped Christmas card this year. Last year I had every intention of sending her birth announcement as a holiday card, but I dropped the ball. I'm not 100% sold on these pictures because there's something off in every single one of them (i.e., we look weird, or Millie looks weird, or she's not looking at the camera--and really, people only care about the baby anyway).

Real life.

We tried to go camping! In our dating years Zach and I went camping a lot. It's been a while since we've gone, but we attempted to go during the weekend Ole Miss played at Memphis. Our house is within walking distance to the stadium. If there is a huge game, you'll either be stuck inside your house for hours, stuck in traffic trying to get back to your house, or dealing with cars blocking your driveway. And Memphis is actually good this year in football, so now EVERYONE is suddenly a fan.

Living room camping, no doubt will happen soon because she loved the tent.

Our plan didn't work because we didn't reserve a campsite in time and all the spots were taken when we got to the park. We mistakenly believed everyone would be watching the game--they hyped it up big time for weeks! There was also a burn ban that weekend, meaning we wouldn't have been able to start a fire anyway. No smores? No way. We went to my parents' house and slept in a real bed.

We did get to go hiking, which was pretty nice. Zach in his camo shirt which he purchased "to fit in" Millington.

I ran a 5k and placed 3rd overall female! The course was in a cemetery (the beneficiary was a children's grief counseling program) and the weather was nice and chilly, i.e., perfect race weather.

So it turns out racing a 5k really, really hurts. But it's also quite nice because IT'S OVER SO QUICKLY. When I got to the 2nd mile marker I thought, "What?! This is almost done!" Was the pain worth it? Yes, because there were tacos at the finish line. Did I mention how awesome it is to be finished after 3 miles?

Of course, I had to give my water to the baby or else she would've had a meltdown. She also ate the bananas and had some chips and salsa. Already knows the importance of the food at the finish line. My kid.

My parents came to cheer me on! Really they came to see Millie but I can pretend they were there to see me.

Mills' first Halloween! She dressed up like a watermelon (or a strawberry--I didn't realize this might've been a strawberry costume until someone else pointed it out) for her daycare party. Miss Nicole as gumball machine, an idea I'll probably steal in the future.

She never stops moving. Approximately 1/2 the pictures I take of her look like this.

Millie was born into a Star Wars obsessed family, so she's looking at an existence filled with Star Wars references. For the record, this is Princess Leia A New Hope hair with an Empire Strikes Back inspired outfit. Poor girl has no idea what's in store for her future. I'm a little nervous about next month, when Zach will undoubtedly go into a full Star Wars trance.

We went to a Fall Festival at our church. It rained the entire weekend, so it took place in the gym and was crowded and hot. Basically I ate a hot dog, fed Mills the cole slaw, we took some photo booth pictures, and went home.

She broke the little paper glasses. Little does she know about her genetics. The infamous Austria vision genes will not be denied!

Our friends the Alanos sent her this little coupe for her birthday. She loves to use it as a lounge. Here she is eating crackers and watching Sesame Street. Life is pretty sweet when you're a toddler.

Her first photograph! Not really sure what's happening here, but it looks cool!

Resolutions for Year 2

Since March 2014--when I took The Test--I've had no idea what to do, and still mostly don't. I know about 5% more than I did this time last year. Now Millie is one and I often think about what I want for her childhood. A lot of what I wish for her begins with me. So, my resolutions for Millie's New Year:

1) Be more present.

We spent those first few months in major survival mode. (We are now in minor survival mode.) During the weeks leading up to her birthday I looked at pictures of her during the tiny newborn days, almost wishing I could re-live those moments.

Tiny Millie in her mittens. Also, terror.

 Almost. It was such a blur and so scary and new. I don't want to re-live the fear. Oh God, the fear.

No lie, looking through the newborn days pictures caused me to break into a sweat. So many flashbacks.

At the time she was so small it seemed she would stay that way forever.  Now she sticks her hands all up in my face, tries to grab my glasses, eats my food, and throws tantrums on the kitchen floor. It goes by so quickly; challenges come and go, replaced by new ones. We are lucky she is growing and so curious and active. I resolve to enjoy the enjoyable parts and not fixate too much on the frustration or whatever lies ahead (ahem, potty-training).

2) Don't spend too much time on my phone.

It would be helpful if I didn't make this resolution the same week I upgrade my phone. It's so shiny. Already Millie knows the power of the phone. She knows how to swipe. She presses the screen with her thumbs like she's texting. She puts rectangular objects up to her ear and babbles. It's pretty cute, but also a little...weird?

So grown.

I read this article and it hit a nerve. I don't want Millie to grow up with the memory of her mother fiddling non-stop with an iphone. It's disturbing to imagine what social media will be like when she's 18. Who would've ever thought the word 'catfish' would mean something other than actual catfish? Now I think about protecting my own child from cyberbullying and the weirdos on the internet. UGH. I hope by setting boundaries--at least when she can see me-- Millie will have at least the idea that real life > superstylized social media life. On that note...

3) Try to not compare myself to others.

It's like the Mommy Games out there! What did moms do before the internet to tell them they were doing it all wrong? I'm really trying not to get too caught up in all of it because it makes my head hurt.

4) Spend more time with my friends.

Miss these peeps!

I have awesome friends. They are called 'squads' now? I miss them. We are busy with our lives. Some of my friends are moms, some are married without children, some are dating, but ALL are amazing. I miss them. I resolve to reach out to them more often, to say hello and how are you doing and maybe if we are lucky we can get together. Have I mentioned how much I miss my awesome friends? I obviously need a GNO.

5) Read more.

I'm obsessed with Millie becoming a reader. When I was growing up, my sisters and I read all the time because my mom read all the time. Going to the library or bookstore was a big deal in our house. I believe with my whole heart and soul that if I hadn't loved reading, I would've grown up with a terrible attitude about school and been a poor student. I know this for a fact. I hated math but lived--lived--for reading. Because of this, grammar, vocabulary, and spelling all came pretty easily for me. I can't imagine what school would be like if you didn't care about any of the subjects or didn't have that one class you looked forward to every day. And, thank you mom for setting the example for us. Every day I see more and more how my parents, how my mom, shaped us. We really ended up doing everything you did--except for becoming a nurse. Sorry. We were more interested in fiction than science. And I say 'mom' because I'm a mom, I know my dad lived for us just as much as my mom. They are still parenting us to this day and I'm pretty sure Millie prefers her Lola to me.  Am I still talking about reading? Anyway, the point is I hope Millie sees me reading and it inspires her. (The other part of this resolution is to not read so much on the tablet, but actual, physical books.)

Yeah!

One!

Dear Monkey,

You are one year old! This is so bittersweet. I love watching you grow and discover your world. At the same time, I am shocked at how quickly time passes now.You've grown right in front of our eyes.

Looking guilty. I believe this is in line with Erikson's stages of socio-emotional development. In other words, you seem to pick up on social cues and for this I am very grateful.

We've had a lot of milestones lately. Walking! You never stop moving!

You move so quickly it is hard to get a clear picture of your walking.

You love to push buttons. Literally. I hope this is not some harbinger of the future. You can't walk by anything electronic without pushing the glowing buttons and occasionally turning off the computer while we use it. It's cool. That's why the cloud exists.

Caught on the monitor. I can't believe I left that toy within arm's reach of your crib. It has since been moved across the room.

You love to eat all time time and get angry when other people are eating and you're not. This is kind of disturbing but also understandable. You especially love beets (!), pumpkin, crackers, and smoothies.

Eating my dumplings.

You do not like when food is taken away from you, or when you finish something. It is unpleasant for everyone involved.

Always eating on the go.

You love smoothies. It's an easy way to get a ton of fruit and vegetables at once. Stick with this smoothie thing.

During Fall break we had some mommy-daughter dates. We ( by 'we' I mean 'you') ate muffins at our favorite breakfast places. And we took our first trip to the zoo, where you were more interested in watching people than animals.

Muffins with mom!

I had really high hopes that you'd be into all the animals, but you were mostly "meh" about it. People were definitely more interesting to you. Maybe you'll be an anthropologist.

We also visited the playground. Again, more interest in the other kids than the swings or slide, but this will probably change once you realize how awesome the slide is.

I love this playground!

We visited a pumpkin patch! You are a true Fall baby. Yay, October!

Tummy!

You picked out your own pumpkin. It's so adorable. You still carry it around with you.

Your birthday celebration was simple--dinner with your grandparents, French fries, and your first Muddy's cupcake. I am sorry for dropping the ball on this. I had grand designs of a birthday party by the playground, with donuts, bagels (lots of round things), orange juice, and coffee. Then I was all, "What if it rains?" Then we all got sick. And it actually did rain the weekend I had in mind, so it sort of worked out.

Don't worry, we'll throw down for your second birthday!

A couple of other things for my memory:

• You love round things--balls, rings, etc.
• You also really love banging things together to make noise
• Right now your language skills are picking up pretty rapidly. You can imitate sounds and some words. "Words" you've said or we've thought you've said: bear (?), bottle (?), monkey (?), Emilia (?), hi (?) We are waiting for some sort of context before declaring your official first word. 
• You love looking out of the window and running through the curtains
• You are definitely starting to imitate us--the other day you tried to climb on the barstool after your saw me do it. Hopefully you will be somewhat taller than me and climbing on the counter to reach for something won't be a necessity. 

Ruffle booty!

Thank you for making me a mommy, little pumpkin, and opening up a whole new world for me. I know your papa feels the same way. I can't overstate how much joy and happiness you bring to our families . I'm so blessed to be your mother.

xoxo